I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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