sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
