that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
