wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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