if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Are we in a gay sports bar?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
