Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
