I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
