do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
