im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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