2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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