I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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