That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
