I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
