trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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