How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
its liver damage thursday
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
