Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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