I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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