He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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