But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
