But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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