That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
