All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize