tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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