Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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