i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
