Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
