More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
