If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
