Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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