Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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