What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
