What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
