I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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