How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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