Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
