Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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