I'm lost and stupid without you.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize