every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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