I think I died a long time ago.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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