We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
