think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
