If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
