Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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