I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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