She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
