I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
