So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
