just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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