Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she told me i tasted like america
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
