The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
